We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
