Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Houston, we have a blender
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
