Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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