I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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