Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
