Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
