who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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