my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
do nipples grow back?
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