Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
