The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the day after is always just damage control
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
