Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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