Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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