Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
