I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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