the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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