You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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