you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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