Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
