Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
