you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Less talking, more tequila
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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