i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
