We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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