Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
