Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
