Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
