I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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