There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
