the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
