Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name

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(762): View more from Georgia

Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...

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(910): View more from North Carolina

just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.

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(519): View more from Ontario

i am way too old to be getting fingered at work

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(630): View more from Illinois

True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.

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(705): View more from Ontario

It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.

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