You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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