He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
