I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
