I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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