i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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