He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
