just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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