Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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