Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
