I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
