I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
