it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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