why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
