Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
