I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
