I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
