Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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