How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
