so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
