"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
