Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
