so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize