Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
