hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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