There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
