Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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