Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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