is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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